You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
