I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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