We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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