At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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