I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
a search helicopter?!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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