You don't have asthma, your pregnant
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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