Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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