the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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