The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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