We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
