even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
