Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize