Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
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