How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize