took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
