HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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