Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
