Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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