is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
