The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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