we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
