The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
