I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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