last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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