Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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