Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
there is glitter all over my balls
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
