so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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