i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I can't put those talents on a resume
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
