He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
