Can Purell be used as lube?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
