WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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