I'm going to jail i love you
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
