I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
