Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
