Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
