Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
