Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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