...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
