After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
