I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
