At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
