we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
