Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
