No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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