your room smells of hookers.
And success
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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