I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
