Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I AM VODKA MAN
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
