whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize