I think I died a long time ago.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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