Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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