We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
