I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
