the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
