So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Those nachos came to me in a dream
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
