Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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