1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
