So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
