I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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