Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize