It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
