No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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