This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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