just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
