Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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