You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
