well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
