i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
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Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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