I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
