operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
