he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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