i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
