Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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