Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
