this boner is exhausting
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
